So I think I can relate to the smoke in both sides of the tobacco argument. In fact, this debate reminds me of a line one of my kids recently used on me.

"Dad, every time you smoke a cigarette it takes 7 seconds off your life," he said.

"Then that just means you'll have to get to the hospital a little earlier when I'm on my death bed," I replied.

His point was valid, but so was mine.

I can take the smoker nagging from people who genuinely care about me and my health. But it's still nagging. When it comes from other people, particularly those who snipe at me from a self-interested point of view (the second-hand smoke guilt trip), I dig my heels in.

If you smoke in the states, you pay more for insurance, you pay more in taxes, you pay a high cost in terms of social ostracism. Basically, you pay and pay....

But it's not smoking that is the real health and social problem. It's the stress that comes with life in modern society that should be more of concern on the health front, yet we don't penalize employers who force workers to slave away to bolster obscene profit margins; in fact, our society rewards that. On the social front, we penalize smokers, ostensibly due to the harm of second-hand smoke, yet we allow giant manufacturers to trade pollution credits to avoid cleaning up their smokestacks.

So, if someone complains about the second-hand smoke from my cigarette, I complain about the fact that they are mortal, that they will die, and I don't want to be around that kind of negativity. I ask them if they are carrying any known forms of bacteria or viruses that might be airborne. I ask them if they ever exceed the speed limit, cheat on their taxes, or screw their neighbor's wife.

Usually, they don't stick around long enough to answer.

Native Americans have it right on tobacco. In its purist form, it's a spiritual experience.

They also had war pipes and peace pipes. I prefer smoking a peace pipe, much fuller flavor. But whenever I run into one of those reformed smokers who has found his asshole at the end of a butt, I like to break out the war pipe and remind them that we all breathe air, another form of vapor, and the small amount of smoke my tobacco is putting into that vapor is no worst than the crap they put into that same air -- with their lawn mowers, cars, pesticides, human bacteria and barbecue grills, etc.

So, I'll put down my war pipe, if you agree to quit screwing up my air with your arrogance. In the mean time, please respect my allotment of vapor in this lifetime.

And, just for the record, I'll probably quit smoking again, not because of anything anyone else says to me, but rather because I choose to -- unless you can figure out a way to quit for me.

But I'll always be up for smoking a peace pipe with friends. For those who are bothered by that, get off my cloud.

Now I'm off to smoke some tobacco.....