It's a no-brainer, really, when you stop and think about it:
Donate - or have your ass kicked.
It's not that often that life offers us such clear-cut choices. Do the right thing. Donate.
Christopher Fee has very generously offered to match contributions up to $500, which will in turn be matched by the Tides Foundation. Yes, right now, you give $1, the j-school gets $4. Don't leave the man hangin', and don't leave your ass hangin' off the end of my Red Wing. Need I say, donate?
You know, I just have to tell you up front - I have absolutely no personal interest in kicking your ass. First of all, if you're reading this, it probably means that, like me, you're a big fan of Narco News. And that makes you alright in my book.
Like me, I'm sure you care deeply about Authentic Journalism and ensuring that the j-school is able to continue to train young journalists to report with unparalleled honesty, thoroughness, and documentary rigor. Like me, I know that you quake with joy at the wave of Authentic Democracy currently sweeping our beloved America, and would give anything to ensure that it continues to grow and thrive.
Perhaps you saw Hugo Chavez's opinion piece in the Washington Post recently.
The coup leaders told Venezuela and the world that I hadn't been overthrown but rather had resigned. I expected that my captors would soon shoot me in the head and call it a suicide.
Instead, something extraordinary happened. The truth about the coup got out, and millions of Venezuelans took to the streets. Their protests emboldened the pro-democracy forces in the military to put down the brief dictatorship, led by Venezuelan business leader Pedro Carmona.
The truth saved my life, and with it Venezuela's democracy.
Of course, if you read Narco News, you probably already knew about that. So this proposed ass-kicking is really quite unnecessary. Save my foot and your ass a lot of needless pain - just donate.
The other thing is that, it would just not be that easy for me to kick your ass. Not only am I too busy and too poor to travel (although not too busy or poor to donate), I'm also much too...well, have a look. Here I am, talking to some Deaniacs. As you can see, this proposed ass-kicking would not only distract me from my work (on a very worthy cause, I assure you), it would also be an extremely strenuous process. Most likely, for both of us. Dude, get real. It's just not gonna happen. I've got a much better idea. Donate, then come to Tucson and look me up and I'll take you out for Tecate and shots. It's really the best thing.
