Join the “Not the GOP Convention” Party on a Mexican Beach
At Our 16th Anniversary Celebration We’ll Watch Our Old Rival Donald Trump from the Other Side of His Wall
By Al Giordano
Mental health professionals are warning about the stresses, and depressions likely to afflict many people – and not just North Americans - over the possibility that Donald Trump could get his tiny little hands on the most powerful job on earth. Some have noted that the week of the GOP convention, July 18 to 21, will be particularly hard on many.
Not to worry, América: The doctor is in!
Since this is the online newspaper that already defeated Mr. Trump once before – when we sent him and his Miss Universe pageant packing from Oaxaca, Mexico in 2007 – the presumptive Republican nominee for president of the United States is no mystery to us here. We made a careful study of his strengths and weaknesses and used them against him by wielding the power of authentic journalism.
The cure we offer for the stresses of having to watch him ascend to a major party nomination will come during those four days in July on a pristine Caribbean beach in Mexico, in a small “drinking village with a fishing problem” not far from Cancun and its international airport.
Admit it: You’re probably going to watch that damn convention anyway, so you might as well do it among friends rather than alone in your room from between your knees (the way many people watch horror films). Invitations to this four-night gala fiesta are strictly for supporters of the nonprofit Fund for Authentic Journalism who pay their own travel, lodging, food and drink, who don’t want to build a wall (nor make Mexico pay for it), and who agree to the event guidelines. Once you’ve checked those boxes, you get your party invitations complete with amazing discounts offered by the Mexican people, their hotel and restaurant owners & workers, fishermen and respected guests.
And if watching the four nights of convention proceedings still irks you, we’ll raise a Trump piñata and hand you a stick for your therapeutic opportunity beet the hell out of him in effigy.
This is a politician, after all, who called Mexicans “rapists” and has vowed to deport millions of them. If you don’t like him, believe me, you’re going be among friends south of the border when you attend this party.
(Very soon we will make these authentic Made-in-Mexico Trump Piñatas - this is a prototype, but we're going to make the skin a bit more orange - available as a mail order gift for donors in the United States and elsewhere: Stay tuned!)
I’ll give you more details in a moment about our plans and the special hotel rates being offered (we’ll hook you up directly with trusted providers, and we won’t even collect a percent off it), and more. In past years we’ve held the Narco News anniversary celebrations in New York, Los Angeles, Seattle, Mexico City and elsewhere. But we’ve never done it until now at the beach.
The dates are Monday, July 18 through Thursday night July 21. In the evenings, you’ll be invited to the exclusive happy hour to mix and mingle with graduates of the School of Authentic Journalism and others. We’ll watch the prime time proceedings of the Republican National Convention together in a fine restaurant that offers great food and drink at economic prices, and afterward offer some entertainment and analysis of the evening’s news events we’ve just watched together. The party will surely go as late as folks are up for it.
During daytime hours, you’ll have free time: to hit the beach, go on boat trips, snorkel, scuba dive, visit the region’s underground springs, nature reserves, indigenous communities, fine restaurants and other tourist activities, or just read a book, and each afternoon we’ll convene by 5 p.m. for the evening’s festivities. Of course you’ll meet other great attendees who may well want to do those daytime things with you, and we’ll introduce you to bilingual guides who we trust to aid you with anything the region offers.
Confirmed special guests at the event include (so far) author and publisher Susie Bright, artist Jon Bailiff, and performance artist Alexandra Tatarsky who will premier parts of her one-woman show about Trump and the US elections during these events. And of course yours truly will be there as well to offer nightly analysis of the news content of the convention speeches and events.
How to Obtain an Invitation to the Fiesta
It’s easy. Just follow each of these steps in order:
1. Invitation: Donate $150 to the Fund for Authentic Journalism
You can do that via its web page: authenticjournalism.org. Your donation also gets you a rest-of-2016 gift subscription to my newsletter, Al Giordano’s América. NOTE: If you’re already a subscriber, and read Monday’s issue, you know that you enjoy a major discount from this donation level, and so does any guest you bring with you who registers before June 18, one month before the event.
2. Manners: Agree to the Event Guidelines
Once you have made your donation, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, copy and paste this next paragraph, and then type “I agree to the event guidelines.”
“As a supporter of authentic journalism I request an invitation to the ‘Not the GOP Convention’ four-night gathering in a Mexican beach town, and agree to the following guidelines: I understand that neither the Fund for Authentic Journalism nor Narco News nor any of its members are a vendor of any services and that I am responsible for my own travel, room, board and costs to be paid to the vendors I choose, who may or may not be recommended by the event coordinators. I indemnify the nonprofit Fund for Authentic Journalism, Al Giordano and anyone else associated with the organization from financial or other costs associated with my travel and stay in Mexico, including personal injury or loss of property due to theft or breakage. I agree to be kind and respectful to everyone I meet through this event, including hotel and restaurant staff and other vendors. I agree to tip staff at least ten percent on meals and drinks. I will respect the rules of the establishments I patronize and understand that some may allow tobacco smoking and I will be tolerant toward smokers. I understand that these four nights of events are not a debating society, a decision-making meeting, or anything that involves group process. I agree to be nonviolent, not to annoy or harass others, and understand that failure to meet any of these guidelines can result in withdrawal of my invitation at any moment with no refund of my donation. In sum, I agree to be nice.”
Again, copy and paste that paragraph in an email to email@example.com and add “I agree,” and you’ll receive direct access to the special discounts on lodging that supporters in Mexico have added to this event.
3. Travel: Book your travel tickets to Cancun
You will fly to the Cancun Airport on the Caribbean peninsula of Mexico. There are direct flights from Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Cleveland, Dallas-Fort Worth, Detroit, Denver, Fort Lauderdale, Houston, Los Angeles, Miami, Minneapolis, New York, Orlando, Philadelphia, Phoenix, San Francisco and Washington DC, and connecting flights from almost everywhere else through one of those.
From most of those destinations you can find a flight for those dates for under $400 round trip.
To take a taxi from the airport to our fishing village would be about $43 dollars, or there is a passenger bus from the airport to town for about five dollars if you want to do it on the cheap. We can also make arrangements to have a trusted driver meet you at the airport.
A return taxi to the airport is about $20 dollars.
4. Lodging: These Deals Are Available on a First Come Basis
Prices listed are per room per night for one or two people. For a third or additional people add $20 per night per person.
One block from shore, ceiling fan, breakfast included:
1 double bed: $75
One block from shore, air conditioning, breakfast included:
2 queen beds: $75
Rental Home in same area:
3 bedrooms, pool, air conditioning, breakfast: $150
One block from shore, with pool, air conditioning:
Two bedroom suite: $120
One bedroom $95
Also one block from shore, air conditioning:
2 bedroom: $130
1 bedroom: $80
3 blocks from shore (Motel style), air conditioning:
Two beds in same room: $50
It is possible to get these same prices arriving days early or staying extra days, if the room is available.
Once you’ve donated at the above-mentioned levels and emailed me at firstname.lastname@example.org I will put you in direct contact with the renters and hotel websites and give you the code to obtain the discount where applicable. You’ll be responsible for booking your own lodging. I urge you to read the information about your room carefully (on amenities, rules, etcetera) before booking your room so that there are no surprises when you arrive. All said, these are very nice rooms! Most also include kitchenette, coffee maker and refrigerator. All have internet and cable TV. But, again, make sure to confirm each of those amenities when booking your rooms. We’re not the vendor or agent here, and we collect no percentage of the business. We’re simply introducing you to those who have offered these special prices so you can deal directly with them. All speak English and Spanish.
There will likely be some group activities available during the day, probably at least one large buffet brunch. If you have specific interests in any of the aforementioned daytime activities and want to book tours in advance, simply let me know. It will also be easy to book them from there with a day’s notice.
Our presenters and I will be mainly available to everyone in the evenings: before, during and after each night’s convention watch festivities. For those of you who wish to blog or tweet about the events, there will be wi fi. We will purchase extra bandwidth so hopefully there will be enough to go around.
In Sum: Come to the “Not The GOP Convention” Fiesta!
I can’t think of a better way to watch the Trump coronation than from Mexico among friends. If you feel the same, donate $150 to authenticjournalism.org (or if already a subscriber to Al Giordano’s América, consult recent issues for information on your discount).
Or you can simply donate $70 to subscribe today and take advantage of the offers therein.
The registration fee is per person (but subscriber guests also receive a discount).
The key thing about this invitation is to support the nonprofit Fund for Authentic Journalism, the work and training of independent journalists through Narco News and the School of Authentic Journalism. Head on over to the website now, donate from there, and then follow the instructions above to get your invitation to the four days of convention watch fiesta on the Mexican beach, where we'll also celebrate the sixteenth anniversary of this publication.
Here's the link to donate: www.authenticjournalism.org
See you there. First drink is on me.